So we have what we think is where we fit in the grand scheme of things, it’s like this framework in which you see yourself and where you stand the relationships you have with others. This is all and truly well until you realise that this is not communal knowledge and just your own interpretation and everything is subjective and objective truth doesn’t exist not even if we use the fuckin coherence theory because it’s all relative— but I guess at least you wish your truth was similar to other people but it probably isn’t and should I just tear myself apart right now what am I doing I should be fast asleep right now
I don’t want to wake up tomorrow
I put him in jail bc I swear he talked without batteries once
LET ME FUCKIN TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT SOME FERBIES. MY COUSIN AND I HAD HEARD SOME CRAZY ASS RUMORS THAT THESE FUCKERS DID SHIT WITHOUT BATTERIES SO WE DECIDED HEY LETS TEST THIS SHIT. WE WERE FUCKING HOME ALONE RIGHT AND WE LOCKED THIS FUCKER IN A STEEL BOX WITH NO BATTERIES. WE BOTH WENT OUTSIDE, LOCKED THE DOORS AND WE CAME BACK AND THAT FUCKING THING WAS OUT OF THE BOX AND WAS FUCKING TALKING AND SHIT WE BURNED THAT FUCKER WITHIN LIKE FIVE FUCKIN MINUTES.
Moral of the story: DONT BUY FUCKING FURBIES
FOR REAL GUYS THIS IS NO FUCKING JOKE
THESE FUCKERS WILL CONTINUE TO TALK AND MOVE EVEN WITHOUT THE FUCKING BATTERIES
THEY’RE TERRIFYING AS SHIT AND THEY’RE OUT TO PUT AN END TO THE HUMAN RACE
DON’T FUCKING BUY FURBIES
DONT BUY THEM OH MY GOD. LAST YEAR I WORKED AT TOYS ‘R US AROUND THE TIME THE NEW LINE OF THOSE FUCKERS CAME OUT. THEY SOLD OUT WITHIN A WEEK. NOTHING WEIRD HAPPENED BUT THEN A LADY RETURNED ONE CAUSE SHE SAID IT WOULDNT TURN OFF. WE TOOK IT BACK AND SINCE IT WAS “BROKEN” WE KEPT IT IN OUR STAFF ROOM. THEN I WAS IN THERE ALONE AND IT WAS SITTING ON THE TABLE WITH NO BATTERIES IN IT. THEN THE FUCKING FERBIE STARTED MAKING NOISE THAT DIDNT SOUND LIKE WHAT FURBIEA SHOULD SOUND LIKE. IT WAS LIKE DEMONIC SCREECHING. I PUT THE LITTLE SHIT IN AN EMPTY LOCKER AND WHEN I TOLD MY MANAGER HE PUT IT IN THE BROKEN TOY BIN.
THEN I WENT OUT TO WORK AGAIN AND WHEN I CAME INTO THE STAFF ROOM AFTER MY SHIFT, THE FURBIE WAS ON THE TABLE AGAIN. YEAH DONT BUY THOSE FUCKERS
I HAVE MY OWN STORY TO ADD. I ONCE HAD A FURBIE, BUT ONCE IT DIED WE NEVER REPLACED THE BATTERIES AND JUST LET IT LAY DORMANT FOR A WHILE. MY COUSIN (WHO MIGHT I ADD, WAS A 22 YEAR OLD MAN AT THAT TIME) WAS HOUSESITTING FOR US AND THE FURBIE WAS TUCKED AWAY ON A SHELF IN OUR CELLAR. HE WENT DOWN TO GO DO SOME LAUNDRY AND THAT LITTLE SHIT OPENED ITS EYES AND MUTTERED “PEEKABOO”. MY COUSIN ATTACKED IT AND THREW IT OUTSIDE, AND IT WAS LATER TOSSED IN THE DUMPSTER. IM STILL AFRAID THAT THIS FURBIE WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT ME. DO NOT BUY THESE THEY ARE FUCKING DEMENTED!!!!
OKAY STORY TIME SO LAST CHRISTMAS MY COUSIN GOT ONE OF THESE FUCKERS EXCEPT IT WAS ONE OF THE NEW ELECTRONIC ONES AND THOSE ARE JUST AS BAD. THE BATTERIES ARE SEALED IN WITH SCREWS, AND NO ONE HAD A SCREWDRIVER THAT FIT, SO WE WERE FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS THING THE WHOLE TIME. THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE DAMN THING WILL GO TO ‘SLEEP’, BUT ANY SORT OF MOVEMENT WILL WAKE IT UP AND CAUSE IT TO DEMONICALLY LAUGH. ANOTHER COUSIN GOT UP FOR A GLASS OF WATER AT TWO IN THE MORNING THAT NIGHT, WALKED BY THE CLOSET WHERE WE’D SHOVED IT IN FEAR, AND HIS FOOTSTEPS WOKE THE FUCKING THING UP AND IT STARTED LAUGHING AND WOULDN’T STOP FOR THE NEXT HOUR. DON’T BUY THESE FUCKING THINGS. THEY’RE DEMONIC.
the amount of personal stories is alarming
OK BUT MY MOM GOT US FURBIES AS LITTLE KIDS, AND YOU KNOW HOW THESE FUCKERS TALK BASED ON HOW YOU TRAIN THEM? WELL THE FACTORY GUYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO ONLY SWEAR AT THEM AND WHEN WE OPENED THEM CHRISTMAS MORNING THEY STARTED SPEWING PROFANITY AND DIDNT STOP UNTIL MY MOM RETURNED THEM
I HAD A FURBY ONCE AND IT SCARED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME. TWO YEARS AFTER TAKING THE BATTERIES OUT OF THE MONSTER IT DECIDED TO OPEN IT’S EYES AND CACKLE, SO I TOSSED THE BITCH OFF THE BALCONY OF MY APARTMENT ON THE EIGHTH FLOOR. I WATCHED FROM ABOVE AS IT CONTINUED TO SQUIRM ON THE PAVEMENT AND CRIED UNTIL MY FATHER CAME HOME FROM WORK.
Lei Xue, Porcelain Rubbish, 2007
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That’s the two categories. The horrible are like, I don’t know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don’t know how they get through life. It’s amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you’re miserable, because that’s very lucky, to be miserable.
Annie Hall (1977) Dir. Woody Allen
(Photos: Philippe Lopez / Agence-France Presse [top, middle] and Vincent Yu / AP via the New York Times)
Does anyone get that feeling that their life is running out of / losing control when they lose something ?? !!!????!!
Clarity concerns creeping;
Creeping concern clarifies
Cautiously call, cry containing
Change cars, claim cheques, cash,
Control consumes colour, caged
creatures crawling can compete, carrying
cracked centuries, catching compasses,
Concretely condemn creased cordiality,
cordially cease condemning concrete,
Continue compulsive comic chaos!
I’ve rolled around in the mud for so long. Wash me clean and I don’t recognise myself. So, how about I just accept the mud and the tendency I have to find myself rolling in it.
I FINALLY WATCHED IT
This sculpture by Issac Cordal in Berlin is called “Politicians discussing global warming.”
i’ve never seen this i wanna go there
Alfred Eisenstaedt: A man standing in the lumberyard of Seattle Cedar Lumber Manufacturing. 1939